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I flopped back in the chair and realised that I had thoughtonly of myself and not about Alex. I was supposed to love her and yet allI had done was to think about what it meant for me. I felt shame burningmy face as I realised she was the real victim here, not me. She was tiedinto this foul contract and I had totally ignored what she was goingthrough and how she must be feeling. She had tried to protect me andlike an idiot I had accused her of having an affair with Kritsada. Thememory of my words to her scorched like sulphur in my brain.I loved Alex and had been a colossal fool to react and behave as I did. Istarted to feel sick again but this time for a different reason.Kritsada's words about courage being the ability to make the rightdecision under pressure came flooding back to me. I had flunked that testthis time. Had I just thrown away the most important thing I had ever hadin my life?"I know I love her, Sam, but I don't know if I can handle this thing withKritsada, and she. "Now that was really bitchy. It was also uncalled for," he said. "I'm not screwing her, but if I were, I don't owe you anything. You sure as hell haven't promised me anything." Yeah, but I didn't come to your home and screw your friend," I said."She isn't your friend. You were ready to leave her to fend from herself," he said angrily."Well Andrew, you need to stay away from me for a while," I said."That might be a good idea," he said walking out the door alone. Since they only had one car I had no idea where he would go."Colonel, I think Andrew is going to wait for you in the car. It might be better, if you didn't leave him alone," I said."So you think we should all leave," the Sergeant Major suggested."Yeah, your tab is on me, but you probably should go somewhere else," I suggested."Fair enough, your feelings for Andrew aren't going to be an issue are they?" the Colonel asked."They won't effect how I feel about Swamp Dog, but you know I'm out?" I asked."So you say," the Sergeant.
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