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" The coach wants you, NOW! You're suiting up." Then she turned and bounced down the stairs to the field. Jamie could really bounce. She was the captain of the cheerleaders.I kissed Ashley lightly on the cheek, then Tami on the lips. "I go now. Fame and glory await," I said pompously."My hero," Ashley said and pretended to swoon as I stood up.Tami brought her fist to her breast with a stiff arm, then extended it out and up in the old Roman salute. "Come back with your shield, or on it, my captain."I nodded to Ricky then ran down the stairs. I ran out onto the field and up to the coach. "Suit up. Be here in five minutes."Totally ridiculous. It would take me three minutes to run to the locker room, at least five minutes to get pads on and suited up, and three minutes to get back. "Five minutes," I agreed and ran off.I was pulling on my hip pads when I heard the gun sound, ending the first quarter. At least my uniform was clean. I always washed it the night after a game and brought it. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt. As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla.Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and two feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.He suggested: “Now maybe pucker your lips and wiggle your bottom, see what that does.” - She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.The husband then suggested she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin.She did ... and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down.“Now ... show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him,” he said.This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy and he started doing flips.The husband smiled sweetly at his wifeas he opened the cage door and shoved her in.“Now Tell him you have a.
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