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But, why was I so hung up on her?I believe it was because she was a blank canvas. Except for the very few brush strokes, I had painted so far, she was so innocent of everything. She hadn't even been kissed before I kissed her.I was honest enough to be able to admit that I wanted to be the one to teach her everything. I was even honest enough to call it an obsession. It wasn't love like I felt for Adrian, or even Amy and her mother. It was an obsession with being her first EVERYTHING. And with her first real lesson, that SHE asked for, no less. She defied me!I had to think about this. I always prided myself on always being in control of my feelings and reactions. I was going to have to get this obsession under control, because if I didn't, I was out of control.It made me the one totally in the wrong. I simply could not let that be.Holly was off limits, until I could control myself around her. Being pissed at being defied, was normal for me. Being Demon level pissed at being defied by. A little smaller than what I usually went for but most certainly a "looker". The reason I was so surprised was that we were friends but I hadn't thought much beyond that. We'd embraced a few times and kissed once or twice but that was all up until then.She sat beside me and asked if I found her attractive. I told her that I thought she was a very pretty & attractive woman. She looked at me and ask if there was a reason that I hadn't tried to seduce her and I told her honestly that I didn't think she would be interested in me and did not want to risk hurting out friendship. She gave me a big smile and leaned over and kissed me while at the same time took my hand and placed it on her breast. To say I was surprised doesn't even get close. You see Jamie had just turned 20 and I was 32. I was divorced with 4 k**s and had already spent 7 years in the Air force. Anyway ... I just hadn't thought that she found me attractive. I was having major self image issues after having just gone through.
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