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"If I had a penis I'd take it to parties"Stretch it and stroke it and shove it at smarties."I'd take it to pet shows and teach it to stay"I'd stuff it in turkeys on thanksgiving day."I'd sit like a guy, I'd straddle the chair."I'd play with my fly, albeit with care."I'd dip it in chocolate, I'd stick it in sockets."Go to the movies with hands deep in pockets."If I had a penis, I'd climb every mountain."I'd force it on females. I'd pee like a fountain."If I had a penis I'd still be a girl,"But I'd make much more money and conquer the world."[Stop! Stop! We're supposed to be researchers, not karaoke stars.][Then there's the codpiece and chaps look for Heavy Metal artists. So I suppose you have poetry or something, Holly?]WHY A SCIENCE TEACHER CAN'T STAND SOME POETRY[Well, as a matter of fact... Here's how Erica Jong's "Penis Envy" starts.]"I envy men who can yearn with infinite emptiness toward the body of a woman,"hoping that the yearning will make a child,"that the emptiness itself. Think...ca...what th...Irene cleared her throat loudly as she glared at Cameron, who now lookedentirely confused. "You should be assuming the position, Cammy.Don't...make...me...wait."Cameron had stopped wheezing and coughing by now, and his blurryeyesight sharpened once again. His mind, however, was still a bit of amess. Nevertheless, he still recognized the necessity of assumingIrene's preferred position of attention, and he quickly complied.Irene stepped right up to him, staring right into his eyes as shegestured to her own face. "Every time you see my face from now on, youwill be as obedient and as compliant as possible, remembering everythingI have taught you, and ONLY anything I have taught you, and you willnever deny any requests I ask of you. Is that clear, Cammy?"Obedient...yes... As his mind had been so wildly jarred by the perfumespray to become much more susceptible to suggestion, it became easierfor Cameron to absorb and understand Irene's words.His head slowly nodded..
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People talk about seven year itches. It has been f******n years of us being faithful to each other. Obviously, a lot of sameness and staleness had set in. There was also the fact that we had lost our virginities to each other, so we had never been with anyone else.Like most men, I started flirting with the idea of experimentation. Threesomes, foursomes, wife swapping, were all things I read about online.For years I had fantasized about sharing my wife with someone else. And sleeping with other women. But for years, I kept my fantasies and thoughts to myself.I finally decided to broach the subject soon after we turned thirty, and we had been through an exceptionally mediocre sexual phase. We were having sex about once a fortnight, and not memorable sex at that. Which was a shame. Because my wife was still a hot woman. In fact, even hotter than when we had started dating, if that were possible.c***dbirth and subsequent years had been good on her, and she had gone from being a slim.

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