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Taking a shower together was not unusual; we loved beingnaked and touching each other. When we were younger, it wasinnocent, sisterly stuff: inquisitive fingers exploring undera nightie or a bathing suit. But as teenagers, there weretimes when it went a lot further. Like the first time Brendamade out with a boy. She raced home to tell me. I wanted toknow how it felt so she showed me. From then on, we wouldpractice our kissing techniques on each other before we wentout on a date. Sometimes I wondered which I liked more,making out with my sister or my boyfriends.We shared a large bedroom with two beds, but in the winter weoften slept together. Many nights, we would snuggle up toget warm and our hands would wander, caress, and search. Itwas so erotic to fall asleep with our bodies entwined and myhand between Brenda’s legs or hers on my breast. One night,I woke up to feel her finder in me. She must have beenhaving a very wet dream; she was fingering me in her sleep.I. I started shaking violently andsweating. The girl sitting next to me yelled that I was having a seizureand I quickly quieted her concern. The teacher noticed my behavior andsent me to the clinic. I called my mom, not knowing what to tell her. Isimply told her I had a panic attack. At that point I had decided tocome clean with my mom (I will NEVER tell my dad, it would kill him toknow that his son was/is a "pussy"). I told her we needed to talk inprivate. She sent my older brother to come get me. On the way home Itold him everything. By the time we got home I was sobbinguncontrollably. Later that evening I talked to my mom. I told her thesame stuff that I told my brother. I could tell that it was killing her on the inside. I felt so ashamed ofmyself and didn't know what to do. I turned to drinking over the nextfew months to try and escape the issues. After confessing to my mom, Istarted going to a psychiatrist and psychologist. They both diagnosed mewith OCD and said that my reasons.
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