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“Jake did well there. But I have to wonder, what the actual fuck is Hillary doing in China? Bill, she’s your wife. What’s that bitch doing? You surely have some notion of her intentions there. Also, when was the last time that Erin Burnett did actual news instead of softball interviews on that special talk show of hers? Well, she’s likely to be very much improved, isn’t she?” I chuckled as I slapped Penelope Cruz on the tush and pulled her closer for a kiss.“Hell if I know. So, what shall I do next?” Bill Clinton asked me now.“Collect Monica Lewinsky, your old intern, and prepare for your new future as a widower. Personally, I think that you should marry her, as long as you both know that it won’t be monogamous. I imagine that Monica, of all people, would know that about you, anyway. Anyway, Gina Gershon, Denise Richards, Dina Meyer, Jayne Heitmeyer, Heather Locklear, Jennifer Sky, Victoria Pratt, Salma Hayek, Courteney Cox, Jessica Hecht, Maggie Wheeler, Joanna Pacula, Lisa Howard,. Meaning, when you were k**napped?”“Yeah!”“It’s okay. Let’s process it. Tell me.”“Uh,” Alia began. “I still don’t know what made them target me. I was just playing soccer in the neighborhood and went to walk home. They asked where I was going an I told them home. They said they’d take me. I don’t know why I got in that car. The next thing I knew was they had me drinking some Kool-aid and I got dizzy. When I came to, I was strapped to a bed. I couldn’t talk or move, but I could hear them and see them.”“Good, sweetie. Let it out,” Doug coaxed her.“There were five of them,” she continued. “There were only two in that Caddy. Damn, it was a doo-doo brown Cadillac Brougham. Why did I get in,” she sobbed.Doug moved closer and got on the bed with her. He held her in his massive arms. “Daddy’s here. You can tell me. It’s okay. You know I love you.”The super short, transgender woman sighed, “Thank you! There were five of them standing there looking at me. The guys that took me were saying how.
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