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' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again.For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.He paused for a moment and then started to leave.The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'Lemon SqueezeThere once was a religious young woman who went toConfession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'The priest thought long. .. Jim walked from the kitchen counter to one of the two dining areas, carrying two plates loaded with lunch. "Cheeseburger with everything on it, just the way you like it!" There was also iced-tea and large salads and chips. Cindy smiled and dived in.Jim smiled at her halfway through lunch. "How did you pick the name Jackpot?"Cindy grinned back. "Except for the six feet, you wouldn't believe how much he looked like a favorite stuffed animal of mine. Summer of 1993, I was on vacation with my parents at a carnival. There was this game where you toss a quarter at some clear glass plates, and if the coin stays on top of a plate you win a prize. My coin bounced forever from one plate to another and finally spun out on a pale pink plate in the center of the game."Cindy grinned and finished her burger before continuing. "I knew what I wanted immediately, the largest tiger on display. It was red with black stripes and almost as big as I was. When the carnival man handed it to me, he said:.
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