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I wanted to see things closer, but knew that for the time being, I would have to just watch and admire from a short distance away. Unfortunately, for me, puberty didn’t hit until much later than the others. I was the last to develop pubic hair and my penis or scrotum never got bigger until much later in high school which cast me into a constant state of harassment from my fellow students. It didn’t help that I got caught while taking a shower after physical education staring at one of the other boys penis, and didn’t know that everyone was watching me. They were laughing at me before I knew that I had been caught. I then became the butt of jokes around the school, and was horrified when even the girls had heard about me and began to make fun of me as well. The summer I turned 18, it finally hit. I noticed one day as I was changing to go swimming, that I had a couple of hairs growing around my penis. Nothing else, my penis didn’t grow overnight, my scrotum was still like a small bag. But mostly I remember the warmth of your skin, the goosebumps you raised when flesh made contact with flesh (no matter how innocent the touch).It was so long ago, like the words in her song. It feels like a lifetime ago, but I still want you here with me. And all my heart can say, yes still to this day, is please don't go.But if you can't be here with me, at least I have the memories of you to help get me through the day. Those memories are so much more than what the word implies. I know memories can hurt you, I know the sweetness of them can still make you cry. But what I feel for you, yes still to this day, is so vivid and real.I still can feel your lips, pressing close to me. I can still feel your arms wrapped around me, how they kept me warm, holding me oh so close. The smell of your skin is still so vivid in my mind. The taste of your kiss is what holds me spellbound even now, so long from the act.The words of her song are exactly how I feel, because all I want to do is beg you.
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