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I remember lying on my side on the bed and sucking a cock – a man was lying behind me playing with my pussy - he kept running his finger along the crack of my bum. It felt nice so I didn't stop him. Then he tried to put his finger inside my bum. That hurt a bit and I told him to stop – I just remember I kept saying, "No, stop it – it hurts." I was still quite high on whatever they had given me. He kept telling me to relax and said have you got some cream –then it won't hurt. I said no but he kept asking and running his finger around my hole. I finally said there is some on the dressing table. He came back on the bed and I felt him put some cream around my hole then he worked his finger in. He had his finger in my bum and worked it up and down like it was a cock." What did you feel like?" I don't know – it hurt a bit and felt uncomfortable but I felt aroused by it and knew it was very wicked. He told me to relax and lifted my leg a bit to open me up more. I wasn't sucking the other guy. I looked up as Jessica handed me a mug. ‘Jess…’ I began falteringly. ‘Jessie, where did you get these?’ ‘Oh, I either took them or asked someone to take them with my camera. It was only an Instamatic back then though.’ ‘But why? If I was that important to you, why didn’t you say?’ I was at a loss. ‘Because… Because I was shy. And if I didn’t ask, you couldn’t reject me.’ She looked down, her eyes tearful once more. ‘It was stupid, I know.’ ‘No, no it wasn’t stupid.’ I stopped and thought. ‘Well actually it was pretty daft because…’ ‘Why?’ ‘Because that’s the exact rationalisation that I used.’ I tried to grin, but couldn’t. ‘We really screwed up Jessica. If one of us had got the courage up to say something, we could have been together.’ ‘We wasted twenty years then?’ A watery smile spread over her face. ‘I suppose.’ A grin broke through onto my face, and then I began to laugh. Jessie giggled and then began to laugh too. I stood up and held her close, hugging her to me to make up for.
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