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I was almost home when I saw the red and blue lights behind me. My heart started pounding as I knew I was legally past the limit and this was going to cost a ton of money.The officer put me through a DUI test and when he was done he let me know that in his judgment I was too impaired to be driving and was going to be placing me under arrest for a DUI. I was toast. So I figured I had nothing to lose by trying whatever I could to get out of it. I asked the officer if there was anything I could do to have him let me go with a warning. He declined and I asked again but emphasized the word ANYTHING.He asked me what I was suggesting. So I just came out and told him that we were only about a 1/2 from my house and that my wife was gone. No one was home and if some alternative type of fun was something he was interested in that I would be willing to do whatever was necessary to have this DUI disappear. He was very slow to respond and had a look like maybe he was being set up but finally he. It didn’t take me long to discover the note they’d left me on the ice box. I read it with a frown while pouring myself a glass of Orange juice, mumbling out loud to myself. Needed a few things in town. Amuse yourself. Back sometime after lunch. David.Amuse myself. I glanced out the window, into the back yard, my gaze shifting to the trees beyond the fence, and the distant mountain range beyond that. It was nice. I could hear the birds busy chirping and singing and whatever making a pleasant racket. Be nice to just sit outside and enjoy the day so I decided to splash a little something else into my juice. Vodka. I took my time finishing my drink and then making another while toasting a slice of bread and slathering it with butter before traipsing back to the one room apartment that was part of my benefits package, cup in one hand, toast with marmalade in the other deciding that it was a perfect day to be lazy. In other words, Swimsuit time.I slipped into a cute blue and white two.
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