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" With her mouth full, munching noisily, "On the continent, we would laugh at the quality of cheese you Americans accept. Because it is marked 'imported, ' you believe that it is the finest. On the contrary, the dairies of Europe use America as a dumping ground for their inferior and unacceptable cheeses, the swill any self-respecting Belgian or Frenchman would feed to the pigs." She swallowed, then emitted a small, ladylike belch. "With few exceptions, what is marketed as high quality Brie here is bitter and spotted with brown mold. I needed to look far and wide to find even this middling quality cheese."It tasted fine to me, delicate and creamy in fact. I couldn't imagine it being any better, and told her so. Her response: "If I were Judith and you Holofernes, I would cut off your head for impertinence!" A rather drastic remedy, I thought.Rather than cutting off my head, she filled it with a cultural education of sorts. We haunted foreign film festivals, viewed the works of Bresson. "Oh shit," he says, pausing with his hand on the doorknob. "It's cool, I'm done," I smile at him and wait for him to move, but he doesn't. "You are really fine, you know that Chanel?" he bluntly asks me, and I force my next smile. Sadly for him, he's not what I want. I've never had a big thing for blonde guys. "Thanks Michael," I say, and step forward to urge him to get out of my way. I'd prefer not to be alone in a bathroom with him. Sometimes I catch this mother fucker staring at me like I'm a five course meal...and he's really fucking hungry. "Can I ask you something?" Michael says, and I can smell beer on him two feet away. "What?" "Are you and Ethan, like, together?" he asks, releasing the knob and turning toward me. "Um, no we're not," I say, and Michael smiles. "Cool, so...he wouldn't be upset if-" "What are you doing?" I ask, and take a step back as he steps toward me. "You are seriously the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen," Michael says, reaching for me. His.
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