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I incorrectly believe that I had no tears left to cry, but lay on my clothes for some time balling. After the last car had driven off, I found my shoes and put them on and picked up my clothes and tried to think what I might do, but knew I had to walk back toward the road or be left here all night to fend off wild animals or who knows what. What a pretty sight I must have been, nude, with my body covered in nasty writing, my hair covered in piss, my ass and legs in shit and carrying my nasty clothes. I knew I would have to put them on eventually, but hoped for some miracle.After I had been walking for maybe 15 minutes, I heard my “miracle”. It was the sound of running water and I could see that a creek was nearby. I walked through some high brush and then slipped down the sides of the creek but was almost ecstatic that I had found water. I took off my shoes and waded into the shallow creek, sat down on some rocks and began to wash my body as best I could. I started with my hair and. Many of the other girls were seriously fawning all over them. What was interesting was the way I felt about the girls. I wanted to touch them. I wanted to caress them. I did not approach them because I was kind of afraid of these feelings.There was a serious part of me that regretted missing Lisa's time in the program. That thought really threw me for a loop. I thought of her as a potential friend. I didn't want to screw that up with some misguided attempt to form a relationship. I knew nothing about interpersonal relationships and really would risk fucking everything up.I really needed to talk to someone. I needed a psychiatrist or something.By Thursday, there had still been no response from the advisory board. It was still being 'discussed'. To make matters worse, Lisa's mom was striking out on finding a medical justification for my exemption. One positive thing, though, was that she signed my exclusion from gym.Lisa and I walked to and from school together. I can't tell you how.
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