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I toasted them with my cup of coffee.Brita emphasized that her relationship with all of us wouldn’t change – she didn’t want it to change. She wanted an ‘and’ and not an ‘or’. She wanted Nils to be a steady presence in her life, and she wanted all of us in all the ways she’d known us in hers. She mentioned how she hoped we would all welcome Nils in a loving and caring way into our lives the same way that she had. I realized that this moment was unique because in a way, we were annexing Nils into a large international polyamorous family. I was pleased with that thought, and it took the edge off the pain I felt at losing Brita. I wasn’t losing her; I was gaining Nils.A buzz of conversation soon erupted that took the edge off the raw emotions most of us suddenly felt. Eventually, Nils and Brita left us to head to the airport and Brita’s corporate jet for the flight back to Denmark.I think we were all introspective about the event, because after their departure we seemed to talk about. That's how they referred to me; that's how they treated me. After a month of the abuse, I seriously considered the suicide options, particularly hanging myself from the rafters using some of the rope I was so frequently bound with but each time, at the very last minute, I chickened out. Finally tonight an escape opportunity came. I overheard Ralph telling Eddie that he and my stepfather would be out until the next morning and he could warm up the food he'd left in the fridge. When the time came I hinted that it might be better if I cooked the food. He took the hint but put a rope round my neck and kept hold of the end so there was no chance of my escaping then. During my time in the kitchen I opened a cupboard and saw a nearly full bottle of whiskey. It was a risk because I had no way of knowing if Eddie might get very violent if he got drunk or what the reaction might be with the medicine that he took, but I showed him the bottle and he immediately grabbed it.For some medical reason.
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