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I made my bed, now I must lie in it, forever. I have to atone for the pain I caused. It's my burden, and some days, I truly do struggle with it. The words are just words, i can say "I'm sorry" a billion times a day, and it wouldn't make any difference. No amount of "I'm sorry" can bring you back, or take away the pain that I've caused. The only "I'm sorry" that really matters, is the one deep inside of my heart, that I hope that you can feel, and hear when I talk to you. That feeling of being alone will be there forever my sweet, because I let you down. I'm cursed to live the life that your mom had mentioned, alone, and regretting not showing you how I truly felt.My life will never be whole again. I will continue to exist, probably for a very long time, but, I'll never feel as truly happy as I did. Three long years, is just the first steps into the life that I will lead. That life started June 17, 2011, the journey will never end. There may be moments of bliss, and happiness. "What's the idea of the tongue stud? What's the point of it?" Guys like it," she replied."I've never seen a guy with one." Guys like it on girls." Why?" Guess."I thought for a minute. I was afraid to say what I was thinking. "Does it have anything to do with sex?"She smiled. "You got it." Really? Oral sex?" That's it." Amazing. I would never have guessed." But you did. Right away."Halfway to her house, we passed the deserted WalMart parking lot. "Why don't you pull in here for a few minutes," she said."Why?" I'll tell you." Okay." I pulled into the parking lot."Park somewhere and douse the lights," she said.I did so."Would you like a demonstration?" she asked."Of what?" My tongue-stud." Doing what?" Guess." You're k**ding me." You've been very nice to me, and I've already told Sarah that I think you're really sexy-looking for a dad. And the money you've paid me to help Sarah has really come in handy. So I would like to pay you back in some way. And you know what Bill Clinton said.
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