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Thursday night, I anxiously banged my gavel twice to call the meeting to order and opened with old business. For ten minutes, I tolerated them discussing the bake sale and arguing whether we should bake additional cherry pies or apple pies. Like, who gives a shit? Just bake something. I have more important things to discuss.I banged my gavel three times and interrupted their discussion, “It sounds like the apple pies have it. Now for new business.” They stuck their noses up in the air and huffed a little before settling down.I knew they coveted my position as President of the woman’s group, but until one of them was willing to relieve Pastor Lucas’ stress on a regular basis, I was in charge.“Ladies, Pastor Lucas has given us a mission to rid the world of an evil plaguing our menfolk. I will need your full cooperation.”I explained my concern and plan to discourage the writers on the offensive site by giving them negative votes. I even called up the site on my laptop and read them a. "We caught the burglar, but the DA won't press charges unless we can get a statement of complaint from the victim. I've been playing hell finding him, so I'm really glad you're familiar with him." Burglarized?" Mitch's voice sounded hollow. "He's a victim?" You sound surprised," said Harper. "Has this character caused you some trouble?" No. Well, not exactly. He showed up under very strange circumstances and claims to have memory loss. He's actually living here under a different name." Different name? Now that's interesting," said Harper. "The burglar turned out to be his girlfriend ... or at least she claims to be his girlfriend, and she claims he didn't tell her where he was going when he left town." Well I'll be," said Mitch. If all this was just about trying to dump a girlfriend, Mitch was going to have a piece of his ass. It occurred to him that crashing one's car into a river ... on purpose ... in the middle of a cold snap, when he didn't know whether any help would come along.
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