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..”“Even by accident? Say you’re in a public bathroom, pissing in a urinal, and a crazy kid comes running in, accidentally runs into your stream, and you blast his snotty little face with your golden bladder juice. Fucking next thing you know, you’re in jail, getting shanked, getting your cheeks busted by a tatted-up Aryan Brotherhood gang member. Fuck...”“I’m using the stall from now on...”“Or did the piss originate from above? A balcony shooter. A roof shooter.”“The Oswald of Piss...”“A second shooter theory. One from nearby and one from above.”“Dude’s parents had enemies...”“Magic piss. Ricocheting.”“A rooftop pisser, a sniper. Like someone at a crowded party, couldn’t make it to the bathroom, relieved himself off a roof. Did it innocently enough. Thought he’d hit a dumpster or some shit, accidentally sprayed dude’s parents.”“You really think it was incidental?”“Accidental. It was an accident. I want to believe that. It helps me maintain faith in humanity.”“What’d they do. " You never know when your big break comes," Jake added in an even moresarcastic tone.Dan then fell completely silent for a good quarter of an hour, deep inthought due to the missed business opportunity, as it appeared to us. Iwas virtually certain he would bring it up again, maybe insisting thatwe turn back or, God forbid, return to Chesterton to get his pricedworks. He had yet another surprise in store for us, however."Why did we have to leave the nice couple's house so soon?" What?" I blurted out. I sincerely thought I had misheard him."Why did we have to leave Kenny and Christine's house so quickly?" herepeated. "They were such nice people and they were letting us staywith them overnight."I was dumbstruck by his question and unable to come up with anythingeven resembling a sensible explanation that a person like Dan might beable to comprehend easily. Instead, Jake took it upon himself to tellhim, "They were weird people, Dan. They wanted to do some reallystrange and sick things to.
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