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I was back in Riverside and she was still at The Pines. Separated but kept in contact through e-mail a few random calls. Two years later and get a message like that. I was trying to shake the idea that this was possible. All the messages said the same thing pretty much just sent at different times. I E-mailed her back with my ‘Doubt it’s Numchuck’s’ reply. But curiosity got the better of me and I called. Sandra said she was coming home and was a couple blocks away from the house when she saw a black Lab and thought it was Numchucks so she rolled down the window on the vehicle and yelled, ‘Numchucks, go home.’ She said the dog went straight to the house and up the porch and waited to be let in the door. She took a few pictures and sent them e-mail. I was in total disbelief. The dog looked like chucks with the scar over the left eye and even a whitish beard. But this dog was smaller and didn’t limp. Phillip drove up immediately (He lives in Marshall) to see if it was him. Phillip said. "Ms I already get your paper, please do not call here again."Was it the waiting, the want, the need. Whatever this was may cope ability level was at an all time low. But still I felt a sense of anticipation. Was I lost in feeling and thoughts. Misforgotten Yesterdays. I had no conclusions just kept hearing the echoing of my mind.From the first time we had meet and spoke, I knew I was in trouble. Alarmed but felt secure. Confusing eluding. Entranced. I asked what do I allow her to do. Now disgusted with myself, for I had no conclusion on my feelings. In a dream or as in none. She continued to live in my mind.This was a must be, have to situation, it had to end. With that thought and the feeling of losing myself completely. I went to the phone, dialed her number, she answered, Hmmm She didn't even leave yet. My voice begin to speak words I had yet to hear.I said Darling, please don't bother. For I do not think I can open my door. My decision had been reached. The echo in my head stopped.
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