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Don’t ask me why. Even that annoying little voice that I was so desperately trying to ignore screamed in my head. “Don’t do this!” it yelled. “She’ll eat you up and spit you out, asshole!” Like I said, I try to ignore that little piece of shit as much as I can. Brandy was making my job insufferably easy.My first instinct was to grab her shoulder and pull her to me tightly. My intentions were great. My aim wasn’t. Instead of the shoulder, my wandering hand found her breast, which seemed to draw me to it like a moth to flame. As soon as I made contact, all I could think of was how well some asshole newspaper reporter would fuck up my obituary. This woman would probably kill me on the spot and feed my remains to the dogfish.But she didn’t flinch! I figured that if I was going to die anyway, I may as well go out a happy man. With her tacit approval, I cupped that delicate orb in my palm, my thumb on reconnaissance for that perky nipple that I knew was here somewhere. Finally attaining my. I gave myself a little pep talk, “You can do this. Don’t give in. Another hour or two and he will be gone again; walking right out of your life, like he always does.” So, the night draws to an end and here we are on the porch saying our finally good byes. You linger. I press my back against the side of the house, you’re getting too close! I look up at you. I can feel the pull the tension between us. I know you want to lean in to kiss me but you are unsure of my reaction, especially after how I’ve acted all week with my keeping you at a distance. My mind is having its own debate. “You want this. No I don’t. Yes, you do. No, I don’t.” Finally you step away; I feel your leaving like a ripping away of a part of myself. At the last minute you turn back to me and start to say something as I reach up and wrap my arms around your neck and pull your face to mine. I know this is a mistake the minute your lips touch mine. But you are my drug and like an addict I am drawn to you each time. I.
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