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I can just make out the soft shadow of my pussy lips through the material. My shaven pussy lips. I wear it like that because I think it looks so much sexier. At least that’s what I allow myself to think. It’s really because David likes it. Not much of a victory, but a victory nonetheless. I shave myself for David. You don’t understand, do you? Neither do I. Like I said, I liked what I see… It is just so sad, that I hate who I am. Or at least, what someone else wants me to be. I’m a bitch. There, I said it. I’m a bitch. I don’t want to be but I am, that’s all there is to it. I want to be nice to people, I despise myself when I play my games, but I can’t help it. I feel like a puppet sometimes, like I’m dancing to someone else’s tune while they pull the strings of my life. I try to cry about it when I’m alone here in my bedroom, but I can’t even do that. In the middle of the night… you know that feeling when you don’t know whether you are asleep or awake? Your mind just floats. Then looking again, I recognized Cynthia as the woman. I said, “Hello Phil and I believe this is Chy, nks ... or Cynthia as I call you. I hope you don’t mind if I call you that as I know I cannot do justice to your proper name.”“Please call me what you can. Cynthia ... I like that name, I may use that name from now on. It has a very nice sound to it. Thank you for that name. I wanted to apologize to you in person for my uncalled-for outburst earlier. I have found out it that it was not my fault, nor yours that I acted that way. I’m afraid I have embarrassed myself with several of the crew, but they have been very accommodating with my apologies. Would you please accept my apology as well?”“Cynthia, I humbly accept your apology and I want to say that I am very sorry that I caused you to under-go the humiliation and the ... other events that my problem caused for you. Barbara has explained to me what has happened, and please don’t blame yourself for the actions of before. I must say.
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