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The room looked haunted in the weak light of a small lamp by the bed. On top of my father’s bureau were dozens of Beanie Babies my sister had given him for good luck. On the other side of the small bedroom were two bookcases, full of the tomes he had enjoyed so much over the years, including several texts he had written himself. While he was still lucid, I had read some of his own children’s books to him, enjoying the serene look on his face and even the occasional smile. I usually did not stay for more than an hour when I visited, but something told me that this was going to be the night. He was completely unresponsive at this point, and breathing irregularly. For the first time ever, I had eaten dinner alone in the vast dining room, missing my father’s gentle smile and wry sense of humor. The waitresses were very nice, coming in to sing with him a week before when they knew his time was short. Despite their generous efforts, nothing could lessen my feeling of impending loss. A. . well,I?m sorry to be the one to have to tell you, but... she?s engaged.She?smarrying a guy named Craig in October." Oh..." You know how you feel like something is over but then, likecompletely out of the blue, you realize it?s not. I mean, I knew thatNancy and I were over, she?d made that very clear, and I understood thatshe wanted different things from her life than I wanted from mine. We?dparted mostly amicably and I knew that is was done, but there was somepart of me that fantasized that I?d run into her one day and the we?dend up together again. So, even though it shouldn?t have, Hilda?s newsslammed into me like a runaway truck.I guess that the impact of the news was written on my face, becauseHilda grabbed my hands and squeezed them affectionately. "Donnie... I?msorry that I blurted it out like that. I thought you knew. Are you ok?"I nodded. "Yeah... yeah... I?m fine. Sorry. I just didn?t think that...hey, you know what, that?s great! Good for her. I wish her the verybest." I.
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