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My sister listened and smiled. When I told her about how Aunt Evil was proud of being a toilet, she didn’t even flinch or seem even mildly surprised.“So, his wife is like a human toilet?”“I suppose so,” I admitted.“Does her husband press down on her boobs or something to flush her?”It sounded like a naïve and silly question, but I wouldn’t have put it past Uncle Evil to install a flusher or have it tattooed on his wife. He had that sort of quirky-perverted sense of humor to do something like that.I didn’t know. “All I know is she said she was training since the 1970s and she ate a bowl of poop for breakfast.”My sister scrunched her nose in disgust and got very quiet. “Does she make money doing that?”“I don’t know,” I admitted that as scuzzy as she was – I didn’t think anyone paid anything to do anything with her. “She looked kind of busted.”“I had a guy offer me twenty bucks to piss into my asshole,” my sister admitted that happened while we were training. “My asshole was like a. I'dyet to glance at my own score. I turned it over slowly. There was asimple note on top. "Congratulations Mr. Johnson, yours is the onlyperfect paper in all of my classes." I sat there dumbfounded. I knew inmy heart that I owed Darla a deep debt of gratitude. I'd have neveraccomplished this without her help. I saw out of the corner of my eye that Darla, upon viewing her own exam,began furiously opening her text. A look of sheer terror covered herface. Surely she couldn't have done that bad? I sat there wonderingwhether I should pretend to work on my own perfect paper. I wasn't ashow-off and didn't want to make the other students feel bad about theirown performance. Looking about the room however, I noticed that severalother students sat there silently just waiting for the bell to ring. Iguessed that they felt no need to achieve perfection. To pass the time, Ibegan reading the test over again. It was a good way to imprint on mybrain the lessons that I'd learned. Besides, it helped.
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