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"Well that's good. But don't ever cut me off in conversation again. We will in fact be keeping things very strictly professional here, and to make sure, I want to ask you to sign this employment agreement. It's basically the same one we use with all of our employees, but I've added a couple of clauses that (ahem) speak to our prior experience working together, and to our dating history. So take a minute and read through. I'm going to take care of a few details, but please feel free to ask any questions."I studied the agreement, and it seemed okay. There was nothing unreasonable in it. There was the structure of the office, chain of command, and reporting structure, which mostly led back to Emily. There was the section on termination, which included a non-compete clause, basically to make sure that I couldn't leave the company to join a competitor, and take business with me. There were office policies, which seemed perfectly reasonable ? office hours, expectations for office attire,. . make that a chicken salad shaker. No I mean I want a chi chi.. chicken salad and a diet coke." The lady walked away, 'why can't I order a Big Mac?' "Excuse me miss, can you change my order to a... Oh never mind that'll be fine." I took my lunch and ate the salad even though I didn't want it at all, never mind that, I couldn't finish the small salad either. 'Oh no, I hope this isn't Alan's work.'I finished eating, threw out the rest of my lunch, and headed off to pick myself up a game. On the way there, I suddenly stopped in front of Victoria's Secret and walked right in. I walked straight to the back and picked up a white corset. About soon as I did this, the sales lady walked over asking, "Can I help you? Are you looking to get something for your wife?" Um hi, yes you can help me but it's not for my wife, this will be for me. Do you know what size I am?"She looked at me, and tried to not to laugh but a smirk did come through. "Um sure." She went and got a tape measure. "Well it.
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