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It was a subject never ever before spoken about between them. Sex in generalities yes but as personal experiences, NO. After their mutual laughing had diminished they could finally be a bit more serious. They had their back and forth, reasonings, justifications, etc, etc. “Chris, Its different for me, I’ve been on birth control since I was 13” she explained. He shrugged his shoulders to indicate “so what”,“Thats was every girl I’ve been with said too”, he replied. “Oh, and you trusted in that” ?, she asked. “Well in fact NO, I didn’t trust in that THANK YOU ! God knows I wanted to”, he replied. “still want to”, he almost inaudibly whispered. She looked at him with question in her eyes,“So basically you played Vatican Roulette” ?, she asked. Each knew the Urban Dictionary definition. It meant bringing yourself to the edge and then pulling out at the last second. “YES”, he replied without any shame whatsoever. “So you have never ......uhhhh, you know, uhhhh, well uhhhh, left it in” ?,. When my wife came home I was glad to see her, but deep down I resented itbecause I could no longer be Wendy.About a month or so later, my wife asked if she could visit her auntyagain, of course, I encouraged her saying that it was so nice thatsomeone cared enough for her to visit her so often.Deep down I hated myself for all of those lies and false emotions I wasgiving out or telling, but I just so wanted to be Wendy again and feelthat happiness of being Wendy without being judged or anything.This started to become a permanent thing, my wife would go to her Auntiesabout every six weeks, in that time Wendy would come alive, I learnt todo my makeup, not perfect but passable which I learnt from the internet,a started letting my hair grow, not to noticeable for a man but longerthan usual, I started secretly using day and night creams, letting myfingernails grow slightly, I even put a dot on the calendar every threeweeks because that was when my period would be, if my wife wasn't here.
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