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“I’m just so frustrated. Every plumber I talk to is either on another frozen pipe burst or they want an unbelievable amount of money!” She was clearly exasperated. I made a suggestion. “Why don’t you just have your husband fix it tonight? It’s a simple fix. He needs an elbow and some ” pipe.” “You might as well be speaking German,” she laughed. “I don’t have a clue what you just said and he would have even less!” I can’t imagine this. I know every man is not a contractor like I have been, but damn! It’s a pipe. You get pipe glue, a coupling or elbow and you attach them. Not a difficult concept. My facial expression must have given me away. She arched her eyes and put a hand on her hip. “You must deal with a lot of dumbasses like my husband, huh?” I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to agree that her husband was a dumbass. Not helpful around the house maybe, but not a dumbass. It was only then that I noticed her completely. She was shorter than me, but perfectly proportioned. She. "the collar," he tips his head to Wezzel."I know," I bat his hand off me and move back."Youse can't help, termination is all that is left for Wezzel," he crouches down and hugs his legs."I may be able to help," I say."No no, Wezzel gonna die. Wezzel no wantta die," he is so pitiful as he rocks back and forth thinking these are his last minute on earth."I can get the collar off,"I offer"No touch, kill Wezzel, then kilt youse." he shuffle back as I start to raise a hand to his collar."That is very brave of you, Wezzel. But I am very good with electronics," I add a touch of persuasion to my argument."Wezzel brave." he repeats. OK so he is not the smarted Wezzel out there but he stops backing up and that lets me get close enough to touch the collar."Hold very still Wezzel," I instruct him. He does but I can feel him shivering with fear."Nosis," Gunga Din says, caution clouds his normal voice making lower and strained."Universe, my side," I remind him in sing song voice as I focus all of.
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