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Satisfied with the day’s work, I head to bed.I am back at the edge of the forest again. I know what will happen; that I will walk in deeper and deeper; that it will get dark and cold; know that deep in those woods, something is waiting for me. I start to turn around, but stop and enter the forest instead. This time I find myself quickly back at the spot where I sat down against the tree and fell asleep. I don't know hoe I know it is the same spot, but I do. I put my hand on the tree and feel a heartbeat.I withdraw my hand quickly and start to run. I don’t make it ten feet before I trip and fall. The silence is broken by a low sound of laughter. I get myself up and run, but a little slower this time. Once again, I have lost all sense of direction and can’t tell if I am running to or away from the laughter. I cannot see more than several feet in front of me, so move with my arms stretched out before me. Suddenly, the light appears in the distance again and I move towards it. Once. Thoughts swirling a mile a minute; images of her kids and the consequences if caught having this “affair”, snapshots in her mind of her husband’s face and if he found out about this, he’d be crushed and how he didn’t deserve such treatment. Then the most horrible thought invaded above all others, that IF she didn’t come this day to meet Him, to be with Him, her heart would be in turmoil and despair. Her stomach would be coiled and in knots. Her desire to be here with Him and submit to His Will over-rode all logic and moral ideals concerning marriage/kids…etc…etc… For the first time in years she didn’t feel suffocated or confined by the restrictions and the sometimes overwhelming responsibilities she faced in running a household; free in mind and spirit, yet bound physically to this fuckin chair. It was incredible. So much the opposite from her day-to-day life where she was bound mentally; managing her career, raising the children, homework, dinner, bath time, bed time, mommy.
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