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Peter, Peter, something or other..."PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a... 44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey,"You say here that your wife is crazy.". Usually when we had sessions we'd agreed on it at first, and in the nineyears of our marriage, Daphne had never suggested it first?but now things seemedso different! Daphne walked back into the bedroom, carrying a bamboo cane I'd not seen before.When she saw me standing there with my pantyhose rolled to my knees, she barked ?Whyaren't you lying over the bed!? She walked up close to me, whacking my arms and shoulders with the cane,as I held them over my face. ?Didn't I (whack) tell you (whack) to bend (whack)across that (whack whack) fucking bed? Didn't (whack) I?? Finally, with caneblows raining on my back I threw myself across the bed, blubbering, buryingmy face into the spread. ?Now then.? Daphne said as she calmed down, ?I've still no proof that you'reman enough to get laid by me?you're such a weepy wimpie boy, it's enough tomake me sick. But if you are deserving?? I looked up. God, she looked so sexy, green eyes flashing, tossed strawberrycurls, her breasts bouncing merrily in.
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