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I can outdo Brian any day. How’s uni going, by the way? I hope you’re working hard and playing hard, getting drunk when you can afford it, and staying clear of the dope.’ A torrent of pee cascaded from Anne’s peehole into the toilet, making a hissing sound. ‘It’s okay, and I’m trying to do all those.’ ‘Good. Well, let me give you some more advice. When I went to Cambridge, the ‘other place’ as you’ve no doubt been taught call it, I realised for the first time in my life that I could do a good poo when I wanted one, not when other people thought I should go. It hit me during the first term that there was no one waiting to give me castor oil or syrup of figs in a morning because I hadn’t ‘done’ anything. I learnt to go when I wanted and to take risks sometimes when need was ahead of want. A dump is certainly a necessity, Barnaby, but it can also be one of life’s greatest pleasures if you take the time to enjoy it when and where it suits you instead of at the dictates of other people.’. "Tom and Amy went out for a friend's birthday and everyone's asleep... I was thinking of you, so I thought I'd give you a call." She spoke in a soft, seductive tone.I responded quickly. "Ok, good. I've been thinking about you too. I'm excited for this weekend!" "So am I." She said. "I'm gonna do some shopping my way back, so I probably won't be back 'til 2. So you can wait a bit to come over or let yourself in if I'm not home yet." Ok. What are you shopping for?" I inquired."Oh, that's a surprise!" She said teasingly. "You'll see!" A surprise... for me? I like surprises! Can't wait." I responded playfully."Well, I'd say it's more for the two of us. You're gonna like it." Just as I began to speak, she changed subjects. "So, I have to tell you something..." Her pause prompted my inquiry. "Ok, what's up?" The other weekend, when you fell asleep on the couch..." She hesitated while choosing her words.I encouraged her to continue. "Yes..." "I umm... I left my door open on purpose knowing.
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