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”“I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof.” (from an Australian claim form)“The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.”“I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.”“I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.”Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?A: Travelled by bus?The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were -Q: What warning was given by you?A: Horn.Q: What warning was given by the other party?A: Moo.“I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.”“On approach to the traffic lights the car in front. The next afternoon I went to see them and having recovered from hang-overs they were sitting topless chatting away, Yvonne said she was going shopping to get more food and drink and got 'dressed' and left. Anne got the suntan lotion out and started putting it on herself and when she started rubbing her large breasts I was starting to get a semi, Anne noticed this and told me to strip, when I dropped my shorts she made grab for my cock and began wanking me, I made a grab for her tits and staring playing with them while my cock got harder and harder, I slipped my hand down to her pussy and had a good feel, she let my cock go, took my arm and lead me inside the room and started kissing me, I pushed her knickers down and she slipped out of them, I led her to the kitchen table and she sat up on it and I slipped my cock up her and began a slow fuck gradually getting faster and faster. after a minute or so I came up her and pulled out. We got cleaned up and went back outside and lay.
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