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I had a couple of guy friends (who, interestingly, all turned out to be gay - maybe I instinctively knew and that's why they didn't freak me out like other guys?), but didn't date anyone for almost ten years. Actually, that's not quite true - I went out on one or two dates, but dumped the guy the second he kissed me. I don't think I was afraid - I just didn't want the hassle and chance of a heart break.I also changed a few other things. As I got older, I lost a lot of my baby fat. I've never been thin, as such, but I've certainly slimmed down into the normal range. I didn't lose my rather ample chest while I was at it, so I ended up having a breast reduction, which brought me down to a still generous but more normal looking D cup. I got contact lenses, my skin cleared up, and my braces came off. None of my junior high or high school arch-nemeses would recognize me now!When I was 24, one of my best friends moved away. To keep in touch, we both started hanging out in chat rooms. Of. "'Mr. Verage, ' the voice came." I blinked opened my eyes. A formidable figure loomed over me, the product of —" I'm just going to skip a little here, kids," I said. I didn't think that the expression "years of surgery by the best ear, nose, throat, and boob men in the United States" was something they needed to hear. Mrs. Snyder, though, was convulsed with laughter over in the corner. Most of the kids were smiling as well, I was happy to see, even if they didn't get all of the jokes."Okay, here we are," I found my place."'Mr. Verage, ' the voice came again, colder than the ice cream I'd tried to hold onto when I stole the bike, ice cream that was now melting onto my pants. 'Mr. Verage, are you fully sober?'"'Yes, ma'am, ' I said."'Mr. Verage, have your driving privileges been suspended? Again?'"'No, ma'am, ' I answered."'But that is your bicycle, Mr. Verage?'"'I, um, was riding it, yes, ' I confessed."'But it's not actually yours, Mr. Verage?'"'No, ma'am, ' I said."'Mr. Verage, ' she.
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