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Chris had beendisappointed, they had been going out for almost eight years now. Infact it was just short of their anniversary, that day in college whenChris had finally gotten up the courage to tell Erica how he felt. Thefact that Erica didn't want to see him all weekend was another sign thatsomething had gone wrong, and when she said that she wanted the weekendto think and that they would talk on Monday, Chris feared the end wasnear. The inevitable talk confirmed Chris' fears. Erica and he werefinished as a couple.Chris was despondent for the next few weeks. He tried to make sense ofwhy the only girl that he had ever loved had broken up with him. Afteruniversity, him and his sister Jessica, had moved into the big citytogether, and they had lived together since. Was this maybe because hehadn't committed and taken the net step to move in together? Possibly,but it had never come up before in their relationship. Since graduatinglaw school he had been logging a lot of hours at. ***It's difficult to think clearly about my condition. Sometimes I can manage it, but the whole thing often completely overwhelms me. It's just such a massive complication to what would otherwise be a nice, simple, boring life. I suppose it brings a bit of interest and excitement, but not of the sort I'd really like.It's hard, knowing you'll never be normal. Never be happy. I'm going to live my entire life inside this cage, and I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it at all.***I don't go out Friday night (where would I go?), so I stay in and watch the television. After about an hour I switch it off in anger; I can't stop feeling jealous towards the women on TV.***I wake up Saturday morning feeling a little better. I check the cuts on my right arm (on the upper arm, from Thursday - I'd cut high up to avoid detection - and on the forearm, from last night - stupid, deep cuts) realising belatedly that last night was not a good idea if I want to keep everyone in the dark about my.
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