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"How long do I have to wait at Southampton before the Newcastle train isdue to leave?"New-carsul? I don't think so somehow.The lift arrives at the ground floor, bringing my impromptu rehearsal toan end. The next time I use the lilting contralto and the middle-classsuburban southern accent I seem to have inherited along with Ruth's vocalcords I'll be talking to a real person. The masquerade will have begun inearnest.As the door opens I keep tight hold of my shoulder bag to stop it swinginginto my hip when I move. This is the kind of habit girls pick up whenthey're still children, and here I am having to learn the tricks of thetrade one by one.I should have told Derek where to stick that package. I really should.I'm a girl...Come on, concentrate.The clock above the entrance to the concierge's office reads a few minutesto five. If the trains aren't going to be running again until six - and itmay be another hour on top of that before they're back to normal - thatmeans I can take things at. It was, perhaps, the thirtieth time he'd said it since he landed on the jolly old elf."Facts are facts, Santa," said Gobelon Ferreneil, who had been claiming for the last half hour that he was now Bob's right hand man. "You have the powers. Only Santa has the powers. It's been that way for thousands of years." The Santa myth is only centuries old, not thousands of years," said Bob, who was grasping at any straw that might cause his life to make sense again."You think humans invented Santa?" Gobelon laughed."I can't be Santa," insisted Bob. "Santa doesn't exist." Where was this attitude when I asked you to take the pledge?" Gobelon folded his arms over his chest."What pledge?" asked Bob.Again the elf used a sort of sing-song voice, saying words that somehow sounded ancient. "Are you willing to deliver Santa's toys to all the girls and boys, preserving their hopes and joys?" I only agreed to that because I messed things up," moaned Bob. "Actually, I didn't mess anything up. Actually,.
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