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It bothered me a little — actually a lot. But I went about my business. Early this afternoon, I had just put the ribs into the oven for this evening’s barbeque when out of the blue, Alexis popped into my head. Her image hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized for the first time, I may never have anyone to share my life with. I’ll be all alone. I began to cry, wasting an entire afternoon wallowing in self-pity. Lynn, I wanted to stop you from coming over, but I didn’t have a way to contact you. When you rang the doorbell, Major began barking…I wasn’t going to answer the door. Then you knocked and Major’s bark became insistent. Something inside me told me to answer the damn door. I finally opened it, and there you were…I’m sorry Lynn,’ Sam began to quietly whimper. Lynn gently pushed Major off his lap. Lynn got up and walked over to the sad woman. He leaned down and embraced her with a big hug. Sam, sniffling, pushed her head into his chest. She wrapped he wrapped her arms around him. ”“First, we would have to have a sex life to spice up. In case you have not been keeping score, we haven’t made love or even fucked in almost three months. Second, you must think that I’d get excited if I was with a cheating, piece of shit?”“It is not cheating if both parties agree, and I’m not what you called me!”“Oh! OK, how does this work? Does thinking of cheating on me cause you to become a cheating, piece of shit, slut? Or do you cheat on me first and then become a cheating, piece of shit, slut after you do it? Or do you become a cheating, piece of shit, slut only when I don’t go along with it?”“God damn it! Stop calling me names!”“I never called you a name! I simply asked you when you WERE going to BECOME a cheating, piece of shit, slut. Well I guess you could also become a cheating, piece of shit, slut if you already went out and did fuck some other cheating, piece of shit, slut. Because I figure that if I was still married and went out to fuck someone else, then that person.
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