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I coughedand struggled and choked and she let go.I spat out. "Wha you do that fowah?" I coughed again. "Wha happen tomayee voice?" Wha you do?" Pamela laughed."Why you laugh? This not funny. I sound like speak no Engrish. Ispeak Engrish. I no have accent? Why this happen?" No matter how Itried, my voice sounded high pitched, accented and broken. Pamelasmiled. "You could have fooled me," she said. I then began to curse ather a long string of profanities which she couldn't mistake. "Whoa,"she said. "This is America. Speak English." I speak in Engrish!" I yelled. "I speak good Engrish." As I gotangrier the words flooded out of me, much as I vaguely recalled the cumflooding out of me. "I study rear hard. Speak Engrish good. Get A-1job. Make money. Wolk hee vely hard." And what do you do?" Pamela asked."I nair you. I do you nairs. Make you pletty. Vely pletty." What the hell was I saying? I struggled to gain composure. I held myhand up to my face to rub my. I can never remember which is correct. Anyway, see what they look like on a high-res screen."As they sat in the living room to wait as Jessica got her new laptop, Carla said, "So our laptops have a better screen than yours? That makes me think that you need to take my new laptop and I'll use yours. I'm feeling guilty enough about this as it is."Fred laughed out loud. "Your new laptops have a little better — and a little bigger screen — big deal. I now have hardly any use for a computer at all. You two have been doing all the farm/ranch accounting. I don't need to write anyone; I just pick up my cell if I want to talk to them." We don't do much bookkeeping for the ranch, anymore," Jessica said as she put her new laptop on the table and plugged it in. "The Matthews' accountant takes care of most of it, as you know. Now come on and show me how to upload my pictures," she admonished.They spent the next thirty minutes viewing and critiquing Jessica's pictures. "These are really good,".
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