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"In," I said.Suzi pulled into the parking lot of Spa. It was a pleasant, peacefullooking building, landscaped with flowering shrubs and plants. "I havethings to do, so I will drop you here," Suzi said. I got out of the carand looked back inside. "They are expecting you," Suzi said, and weexchanged warm smiles as she drove off.I stood for a moment enjoying the attractive entrance to the Spa. Therewas a warm breeze, and I loved the way it felt on my skin. I caught myreflection in the Spa window, and it made me feel great to know that Iwas that woman. I inspected and admired myself, adjusting my dress overmy curves, aware of my moves and poses catching the eyes of passersby."Suzi is so right about me," I said to myself. "I really do love everybit of this!" And I went inside, smiling broadly as I swayed andstrutted through the door.My day at the spa was amazing. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to begetting VIP treatment all day long. I lazed in the sauna while beingserved. But just like you told me once, my feelings aren’t necessarily rational but it doesn’t change them.I feel betrayed by my sister. But I also feel betrayed by my parents for not stopping her. And sadly, my love, I feel betrayed by you too for not protecting me.But I know these thoughts aren’t rational so I’m going away for a while to fix things. I need to be able to close my eyes without seeing that day. I need to be able to see you without reliving the last time you held me in your arms.I want you to know that I’m not deserting you. I swear I’m not. I don’t know when but someday I’ll find you, if only to give you a better explanation. As soon as I can be the person that I need to be for me and the person I need to be for you.I hope you’ll give me time to find what I need and I hope you’ll respect my need for privacy. It’s not that I don’t want to see you. I just can’t put my life back together properly when all I want to do is get back to the girl you care about so much.Please know.
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