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‘I never met her, at least I don’t recall having met her,’ Paul said. Celia was quick to pick up on her husband’s weak reply. ‘You didn’t know? Could you have been the one to knock her up?’ ‘Umm, Paul interjected, ‘This is going off track, guys.’ ‘I just want to know if Jim here, knocked up my roomie,’ Celia was pissed, or appeared so. Taking a deep breath, Jim answered his wife’s accusation. ‘No, I certainly didn’t knock her up. The closest thing to sex I ever had with her was bumping into her tits by accident when coming out of your bathroom one time. I didn’t know she was coming in at the same time I was going out.’ ‘I know,’ Celia said with a smug smile. I just wanted to bust your balls, baby!’ ‘CELIA!’ Jim yelled in exasperation. Joanna and Paul clutched each other while they laughed at the trick Celia had pulled on her husband. ‘Is there any story here, Celia, or are you busting all our humps?’ Paul inquired. ‘Oh, yeah, sorry guys … Jacqueline and I wanted Jim, you know, we. You’ll have to do that yourself”.Dave had just returned from his honeymoon and was settling down in their new apartment. Coming home from work one night, the landlady met Dave in the hallway. She said “I have a couple of extra tickets to a play in town tonight, and I wonder if you and your new bride would like to have them?” “I’ll ask her” Dave responded. He opened the door to his apartment and called out “Honey, would you like to see ‘Oliver Twist’ tonight?” “No way!” his bride retorted. “If you show me one more trick with that thing, I’m going home to my mother!”Donald Trump was looking for a call girl. He found three such girls in a local pub, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. To the blonde he said “I am the President of the United States. Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you?” She replied “$200”. To the brunette he asked the same question. Her reply was “$100”. He then asked the redhead. Her reply was “Mr. President, if you can get my skirt up as high as.
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