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That was it. She was away. I thought the best idea would be to get a taxi up the road, but even the thought of that tired me out. I realized how drunk I was and how much easier it would be just to go to bed and wake up. Everything would still be shite, but better. At least it would be morning. But first I would have to tell her I was sorry. I wasn't sure what I was going to say or how I was going to say it, but I knew I had to do that much. Her door was open slightly. There was no light. She had big blackout curtains on the window that kept out both light and noise so that it was like being in a cave. I didn't know what to do. I stood there waiting, my mind ticking over the options as audibly as a grandfather clock. I thought I heard her crying. I didn't know what to do. I was in default mode, so I went for a pish and came back shivering at the door, like some nocturnal creature. I heard her shifting, sitting up in the bed. I couldn’t see her I tracked her with the movements that. What had happened the week before scared me, but also made me crave more.I had lost my virginity at a young age and usually used it as a coping mechanism when things weren't going well for me. I recognised that, but never did anything to help myself. I was having problems in almost every area of my life. Things weren't going well for me financially, romantically, or professionally. Maybe that's what brought me to the parking lot. I had found myself in a rut and the excitement from the previous week offered me a way to break the cycle I was in. It brought me something new and exciting. Although I was no stranger to sex, my sexual escapades usually ended with quickies in the back of a stranger's car or with a premature business man. The were boring and not particularly enjoyable.It was a Friday night and I went back to the parking lot. I promised myself that this would be the last time I stood in there waiting for him. I hoped that fate was kind and would bring him to me. I was not.
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