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As the synopsis suggests, this is intended to be a mix of lewd and humorous, and I can definitely see how that could put off some people.Also, I assume this goes without saying, but I'll probably end up fucking canon about as hard as our protagonist is going to be by the time this is over.)It is generally agreed upon that life as a Guardsman is hard. Combat against the horrors that the galaxy has to offer is the single most psychologically and physically taxing thing that a man can be made to do. On the plus side, the benefits are great, and you're only expected to have to serve in combat for 15 hours! Granted, 15 hours also happens to be the average life expectancy for a guardsman, but you're not paid to think about such things. In fact, you're not paid at all.Of course, those thoughts haven't run through your head for the past several hours now, as you happened to have been knocked unconscious due to having suffered from the the unfortunate condition known as 'taking a large chunk. Miller walked through the redcurtains at the far end of the stage, and the house lights dimmed. After someapplause, he moved over to a microphone stand. Mike in hand, he went on tothank everyone for coming. After telling a couple of jokes, he moved to thefront of the stage. "And here are my Santas." The audience roared. "Yes, they had quite a daywith the old fogies, but let's not keep them waiting any longer. As my sontold you, I have a special present for each one of you. Let's bring out presentnumber one...." The crowd applauded. I saw a face peek out through the red curtains. "C'mon, don't be shy." Her face disappeared, and then she seemed to be pushed through the curtains.Some laughter fluttered through the crowd. "And here she is...present number one.... C'mon, down to the front of thestage and back." I watched analytically as the shy brunette walked my way. The first thingInoticed was her sexy outfit. Her top was silky red and long sleeved, like somethinga pro cheerleader.
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