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‘You know how he likes to talk. We wouldn’t want people getting the wrong idea about the little guy.’ ‘Bite me,’ I said and threw a pillow at her. She laughed again and threw it back at me. ‘So just for the record, how big is it, exactly? A girl likes to know these things. Besides, it will look good in my diary.’ ‘I don’t know the exact numbers. Sorry’ ‘Oh come on,’ she said, smiling. ‘You must know that it’s big. Haven’t you ever measured it?’ ‘Never,’ I said, which was complete bullshit. Of course I had measured it. Many times. I’m a guy, after all. Curious, insecure, proud, satisfied, dissatisfied, envious. Did I mention insecure? The last time I had measured was several years ago, after a moment of jealousy and insecurity with a former girlfriend. She had told me that her previous boyfriend had been much bigger. For some reason it bothered me. I knew I was on the bigger side of the supposed average. I’d had a number of comments: big, really big, so big, too big. But one never. A couple of hours later i had consumed more drink that i had wished but i felt very happy and quite merry,i noticed Miss Stratton sat at a table and walked over to see her"your still here then i said"yes im just about to go home after Ive finished this drink, and your still here to"yes i know but im feeling it now so i will be leaving shortly myself,would you like to share a cab with me then said Miss Stratton"why not i said i have no other way of getting home.We waited outside to get some fresh air whilst waiting for the cab and were chatting when i said to Miss Stratton"thank you for listening to me when i had a few problems recently"nonsense she said"that's what im here for then she said"well how is the Karen thing now"OK i suppose she still makes comments to me,but im i try to brush them off and carry on"why do you think she makes these comments to you"i don't know really"what do you think Miss Stratton"well i think its obvious that she wants you in a sexual way.My mind started.
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