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I remember the first time I had a dick in my mouth. It was with a trans woman and the second she walked into my room I was just thinking about how much I was getting in my mouth. She walked to the bed and said "come here" so I went to her and I don't know how but I just dropped to my knees and she pulled her dick out. It was soft and not very big but I had to have my mouth used so I engulfed her dick. I was going with the flow for a few minutes and then I realized that it was getting hard in my mouth. Now I feel it get bigger which I ended up loving. At this point I think I lost myself because I don't remember it all the way down my throat but it wasn't until I gagged for the first time I noticed that it was throbbing. I love that feeling but I wasn't ready to swallow so I just jerked it off. I'm really horny right now so I will be hosting in my hotel room all day today. I want to suck a soft cock and feel it get hard in my mouth and I love the throbbing feeling right before it. I don't have a safe word unless for a specific scene he decides I need one. That gives me the space to relax, let him take full control and develop as his sub. This too is beautiful. Being his sub gives me a deep sense of contentment. A feeling of being "at home". When I think about it it makes me aroused and wet. When I reflect for longer (like now) I can feel a pressure in my chest which is the bundled up feelings and overwhelming devotion. I am his sub and will do whatever He asks me to do whenever he asks me and with whomever He decides. I do not need to think about it. This leaves me free to devote my attention to doing it well. In my vanilla life I am a decision maker and a driver and impatient to get things done. When I have decided on something I go for it. Bridging this gap is something I am still learning. I have to remind myself as his sub that it is not about me. As his sub I must learn to be patient and wait until He tells me to do something. For example I would like.
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