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All I could think was I'm your son how could you dothis to me. And then everything came back to normal. From then on,however, I was always afraid of being hurt no matter what I did. I guessthat's why I never seemed aggressive enough for him and why he keptyelling "what's the matter with you; what are you afraid of?".Eventually I started hiding from him. I just wouldn't be around where hewas. When he and mom wanted to go somewhere I would always choose tostay home if I could. And of course, I stopped talking to him. Why wouldI not, when anything I might say might be taken for what he calledinsolence and punished accordingly.I remember scenes from movies and later YouTube videos about soldiersgoing off to or returning from war. Everyone was so sad to see thesoldier go and so happy to see him return. I remember being confused bythose scenes when I was younger because for me it was just the opposite.I would happily go with my mom and dad to the airport when he was on hisway to another. His most disfiguring feature was his hands. They itched and he wished he could take the damn gloves off, but he dared not. Even he couldn’t stand the sight of his bare hands. They no sooner seemed to heal, then the skin would flake off again, and they would swell so badly, he could barely move the fingers that worked.Not many knew that he had already completely lost his two smallest fingers and the ring fingers back to the first knuckle. The gloves were designed to leave those fingers curled in and were stuffed, so it looked like he still had all his digits.His middle fingers had also begun to blacken, and he couldn’t sense the tips anymore. He never accepted anything to his hands from anyone. He had resized the fake wizard’s ring, so it fit over the glove on his right hand. Not to wear it, would cause rumours and he knew there were enough of them about him already.The four mutes, who served him personally, had heavy-duty binding spells on them. They couldn’t be questioned by anyone..
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