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I heard a guy complaining about how expensive his wedding is going to be. He is going to really be pissed when he finds out how much his divorces is going to cost.My sex life is like a Ferrari. I don’t have a Ferrari.NASA’s robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Curiosity’s early pictures showed no signs of ESPN, beer, or porn. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars.My mother-in-law is coming I had to clear out half my closet so she could have a place to hang upside down and sleep.Men have feelings too, for example, we feel hungry.I once won an argument with a woman ... In this dream I had.If there was a way to read a woman’s mind, I’m not sure I want it. I hate shoes, shopping, gossip, and I already know I’m an annoying.It’s funny that when my girlfriend gives me the “silent treatment” she thinks it’s punishment.Judging by the frying pan is whizzing by my head, I did something. I can’t wait to find out what was.The Morning AfterDave woke up after the annual office Christmas. “Oh, god I need it!” Lucilla breathed desperately, her eyes pleading as her hands wrapped around me, “I need it right now!” I needed it even worse. I was shaking with the desire, my motions forceful and violent, my patience gone. I grabbed Lucilla by the succulent meat of her thighs, beneath her skirt and above her high stockings, pulled one leg up, and pushed between them. My raging, rigid heat found wet, soft warmth. Her moist petals gave way to my advance, her lewd-lips stretched inwardly as I penetrated, and her tight sheath welcomed me into her with slickening nectar and sucking muscles. Our pelvises met, our breasts flattened together, and our mouths moaned a mutual tone of satisfaction. I slowly sunk the last few inches I had through her tightness, and felt Lucilla’s thighs quiver around me as I touched her bottom. “Holy shit!” Lucilla cried, eyes wide in wonderous pleasure, lips gaping in a pink oval, “Julia, you’re so fucking deep!” “Shh!” I hissed, trying to contain my own.
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