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We were going to have a meal in the new celebrity chef restaurant and I had used all my connections to get us a table but she has some sort of domestic crisis with her c***dren and can’t make it!I try not to feel annoyed, as it’s not the first time she has done this but text back ‘oh no hun, hope all is ok let me know. How bout coffee tomoz, I can come to you?’ I ring the restaurant, they are gracious but I’m sure they will have no problem filling the table.I start to think as I order another Pinot, as I’m dressed to impress in a little black dress, heels and my hair is done shall I eat in the hotel restaurant or eat in my room with the TV for company?As I ponder the barman comes to me with a large glass of Pinot and tells me it has been bought by the two guys across the bar. I thank him and raise my glass and thank them with a smile. They are a little older than me, both are dark haired and one looks very big and broad.The smaller guy approaches me and asks me if I would like to join. (This one got extra credit.)11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.13. Glibido: All talk and no action.14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.And the winners are:1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.2..
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