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I have just finished cutting the grass and now have five minutes to have a look at a magazine and wank before going home. I am in mid stroke with my trousers and boxers around my knees when I hear gran“Are you aright Tom” gran askedI look up and saw gran standing in the door in front of me“Oh sorry” she said turned and shut the shed doorI was unable to finish myself off after that and went cowardly in to the house after putting the magazine away“Sorry gran” I said “Are you crying”“It nothing Tom, here’s your money”“Thanks gran” I said and I got my customary hug and kiss on the lips as usual “It’s half day at school next week so I will be early if that‘s alright” then set off home.It was another week before I was back and I have been thinking all that time how I could face gran again and what to say. We had our hello hug as usual if not a little longer and gran seemed fine with me.“Do you want anything to eat first Tom?”“No I’m fine, Gran, I’m sorry about last week, I won’t do it. It was a runaway success and we had to order several reprints to satisfy demand. Building on our success it has been decided to repeat the exercise. At this stage I would like to call upon Miss Hermione Jones, The chair of the Calendar sub-committee to give us an update of progress on this year’s production. Miss Jones, if you please.’Miss Jones a retired librarian, clad in country tweeds with a deer antler brooch in her lapel rose unsteadily to her feet.‘Thank you Madam Chairman, ladies. I am pleased to be able to tell you that January to July is in the can, as those in the film-making business might say.’ She smiled, pleased with her own little quip. ‘I will be requiring more volunteers for August to December. Once again we have been fortunate to secure the services of Colonel Bagshotte to take on the role of spanker. He and Mrs Bagshotte have been kind enough to allow us to use the Grange and the grounds for our production. I would like to say a special thank you to Mrs Bagshotte.
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