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“Hey, have you two seen any of my thongs, I have a lot of them missing?” I asked. “Mom, seriously how the hell would we know about that?” Tonya asked. “Well, shit happens sometimes, you can't explain it, things just go missing sometime, so I'm just asking,” I replied. Tonya got a little defensive right there, I thought maybe she was borrowing them. Not exactly a stretch, but still that was a little weird. Over the next 3 weeks my collection seemed to get smaller and smaller, so I decided to ask Tonya if she had been borrowing them. I went into her room on Wednesday afternoon after I got home from work. “Tonya, can I talk to you?” I asked as I was at her door. “Sure mom,” Tonya replied. I hesitated to ask her, I thought it was too obvious, but all the clues point to her. “Have you been borrowing my thongs?” I asked. She thought that was weird that I was asking her about that. “No mom, are you sure they aren't just like behind your dresser or still by the dryer?” Tonya asked. “No, but. I wished them luck, trying to raise hundreds of babies. This place would not be good for Our Lady the Tiger. I can just imagine- Annoying stinky babies? Loud, too.We slunk away. I marked it on my map. I actually applauded the person doing this, a gene-conservation effort. I should have thought of it. I should have thought of letting the cats out. All I thought of was putting down the brain dead. I wasn't much of a leader, and history, and all my descendants (counting my chicks again) would be disappointed in me.Note to self: come back here in fifteen years, see if they had any extra girls to give away. Heck, come back in ten, and get some to raise right. I just didn't see how they could civilize that many kids of the same age at the same time with just a few adults. It might only be one person. It might be the same person who let the cats out.Ok, I would come back this way in a few years, they wouldn't need me as a stud. Oh no, they might conscript me as a teacher/babysitter! Maybe I.
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