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The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:1. The DNA all matches.2. There are no dental records.A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"The agent replies, "Just a minute." Thank you!" the blonde says, and hangs up.Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez."How was he killed?" asked one detective."With a golf gun," the other detective replied."A golf gun! What is a golf gun?" I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'Joe: 'Really?'Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the. Jonathon – Laurie's Master:I began by using a wooden spoon on her ass and thighs. I paddled her in the same spot over and over again until she whimpered. The spoon left a bright red round spot where I struck her. I repeated this over and over again multiple times. Laurie enjoyed it very much. I then attached 6 clothes pins to her pussy lips which were dripping by now. I pulled and twisted them. I asked her if I should keep going and she replied, softly, “Please.” I then grabbed the spatula and swung it hard, landing on her inner thighs near her pussy. I struck her ass many times, and her flanks as well. As I struck her, she began to sweat, and moan. I then took off my belt – pausing to grab a sip from the drink she made me. All the time, the egg is vibrating in her pussy – I would occasionally between strikes, change the speed or turn it off altogether. I used my wide belt on her ass, her thighs, her shoulders, and a little on her lower back. It was about now that Laurie started.
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