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Well, here’s the beginning of that story, drenched in the grief of a man who has lost his wife, who wakes up every morning wondering how to go on and then, one day, wakes up on a private island in the South Pacific. He’s comfortable enough. There is a beautiful beach house fitted out with every known amenity (and some that are still unknown). But the grief stays with him. And then, on the first anniversary of her death, things begin to change. ———————– December 23 It rained. It’s never happened before. I don’t really know what to make of it. The sky just wept for hours. I sat on the front porch of the beach house, under the tin roof, and listened to it beat down. Eventually I got up to pour a glass of red wine, and to light some candles. By late afternoon it looked like a little shrine around me–candles flickering, a half-finished bottle of wine on the table, and me–staring straight ahead into the gloom, watching the lightning flash its anguish across the grieving sky and listening. I’m not finding that hard to accept! They are smart, kind, joyful, beautiful and come with a shit load of complications. So, no it’s not fucking convenient but I’m not going to apologize for it anymore.”“Apologize?”“Well, in my own head anyway. I never shut up about it to myself and I’m done with that.”Sylvia sighed and her leg stopped twitching. I think somewhere in there we both took a few shots because I remember having to pass her the bottle and another time her passing it to me. Over the next few minutes, her body posture didn’t become relaxed but she didn’t look ready to pounce on me with violence anymore at least.“Fuck.” After the long silence that was her way of breaking the quiet. “Do you know that I thought this would be the easy stage? We were past the early teenage bullshit. She’s looking at colleges to apply to. I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about her getting knocked up if she was a dyke. Shit, I was thinking about telling my mom just so we wouldn’t have to go see.
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