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What was the matter with me? Ten minutes ago I was angry, now I was getting an erection. Surely it was perverse to get a hard-on at the thought of what my future wife might have been doing with Ray some four years earlier. It may have been perverse, but there was no denying it was very erotic, and erotic enough for me to want her to do it again."Do you still want to go upstairs to him, Clare?"She actually blushed. "I already told you it was a stupid idea."There was a certain irony in the situation in that our roles were reversed, and that I was now the one trying to justify it to her. But whereas she had been acting on impulse, my actions were premeditated. Whereas she'd been driven by selfless compassion for Ray, my motives were utterly selfish. That is not to overlook the fact that Ray would get pleasure from Clare going to him, but it would be secondary to my own."No it wasn't a stupid idea. I think it just goes to show what I've always known, that you really are a very caring. There were tribes she’d encountered who believed this was a necessary ritual to pacify the spirits. Others preferred to burn the body and some even deliberately left the body on an exposed hill to be scavenged by wild beasts or vultures. Glade had no religious preference, but she would rather that the animals that ate her lover would do so underground and not where Glade might suffer the anguish of seeing a jackal or a hyena run away with Demure’s limbs or vital organs. And once the body was buried, all Glade could do now was weep. And weep she did. For day after day. And she did so under the shadow of the tree where she’d cared for her dying lover for so long. The tears were sometimes soft and salty. They were more often accompanied by chokes and stabbing pains of regret. Glade’s eyes were swollen, her mouth was raw and salty, and a dark shadow followed her gaze wherever it roamed. —————————— Much as Ivory loved Ptarmigan, her love was still split between the woman she was with and.
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