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" I should be apologizing to you," she replied. "I pushed you out of the moment by bringing her up. I'm sorry for that."He kissed her forehead. "You're forgiven." This is the first time in my life that I've felt truly fulfilled as a woman," she said, "truly satisfied." She caressed his chest some more. "In a way, I envy you. For a while at least, you and Beth must've had something truly special. I never had that." Her eyes began to fill and burn. "Steve never caressed me lovingly ... he never bothered to understand my needs ... he never cared if I was satisfied ... I was with him for six years ... and what do I have to show for it?" You have the twins." Of course and I'd never give them up." She brushed tears from her face. "I was emotionally and sexually dead for those six years ... and I never knew it... 'til now. I lost six of the best years of my life and I never mourned them." I've never mourned losing Beth the way I did." Maybe it's time we did," she said."I don't know if I. It made sense too. The guy seemed too interestedin the table Swan Song business was being discussed at."Almost right, Gabrielle, I definitely didn't want to be a man againwhen I came in. But now, after what you told me about my family, I'm notas certain."Tom's admission, while not totally unexpected, caused Gabrielle toinwardly sigh. She had fallen in love with a man who now preferred to bea woman. She sometimes wondered if she was cursed in some way. She'd hadnothing but bad luck in either finding a woman she could bond with, or aman she wanted to marry.Gabrielle had always been more attracted to women than men, but shefound it difficult connecting with her fellow gender. She viewed mostlesbian women she met as insecure drama queens, perhaps stemming fromtheir experience of disapproval, even hostility, from family and friendsbecause of their sexual orientation.Those who weren't either insecure or drama queens, often had a strongurge to merge. U-Haul lesbians didn't appeal to.
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