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We had never talked all that much during tennis games, apart from friendly rivalry and small talk. So we had our first conversation, and I was so pleased that he was a pleasant and knowledgeable person. We were side by side holding hands. And I swear only about another twenty minutes later he took my hand and put it on his cock, which was growing hard again. I was pleased to be sure, but I did ask myself whether this guy was limitless in his sexual power and drive. We weren’t young men! But then the most important question occurred to me: what did he want to do with that cock? He leaned over to my face and whispered: “I’d like to fuck you.” Something about the way he said it – almost asking permission - told me I would have choice in how I was to be fucked. So I rolled over onto my stomach and spread my legs. I was so eager to have his cock in my ass and his body against me that I nearly missed the magic of his lips and his tongue on my hole. His whole face was in my crack, it felt. I’ve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.He says I have Feefiphobia.“Orion’s Belt is a big waist of space.”Terrible joke. Only three stars.Scene: costume partyA: what are you dressed as?B: can’t you tell, I’m a harp!A: your costume is too small to be a harp...B: calling me a lyre?!Bloke goes to a costume party, stark naked, painted green with his girlfriend on his back. Someone asks ‘what are you supposed to be?’, he replies ‘I’m a tortoise’. ‘What about her?’, he replies... ‘that’s Michelle’I told my doctor that when I travel from country to country I have the urge to get drunk. She told me I’m a borderline alcoholic.A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, “Your barracks door is open.”Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.When he was just about done shopping, a man came up and said, “Your fly is open.”He zipped up and finished his shopping.At the checkout, he intentionally got in.
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