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I had zero idea about sizing and theywere way too big. I threw them into the back of my bottom drawer behindsome sweaters and tried to forget about them. I was reminder a week laterwhen I got a postcard in the mail. Dear Ms. Andrew White, We would like to thank you for being a valued customer with a free pair of our Sheer Energy pantyhose. Sheer energy massages your legs so you will feel refreshed and invigorated at the end of a long day. We just know that once you try our pantyhose you will be a customer for life. Just return this card in the mail and your new pantyhose will be on the way.I was mortified. There at the top of the card was my name clearly labeledas female. Some computer database somewhere had my name in a record andsomeone had entered "Ms" next to it. I threw the card in the trash hopingI would never see it again.Life continued. I'd nearly forgotten about the postcard when I gotanother one a few week later. Dear Ms. Andrew White, . I'll explain it to you later," I said. "Can you wait tillafter work? You know I'm really busy right now with this report." I wasstalling for time, of course. What else could I do?"OK," she said. "You can explain it all to me at five o'clock."What was I going to do? What were my options? Tell the truth? Or pretendthat I had some disease, poor circulation in the legs perhaps, thatmeant I had to wear tights under my trousers? Deny it? If I had saidthat I wasn't wearing tights I would have been telling the truth. Thefact is that I was wearing stockings and suspenders! Plead the fifthamendment? That would just prove I had something to hide. I had just anhour to come up with a strategy.I wondered what evidence she had against me. Earlier that afternoon Shehad asked me to climb up a step ladder to fetch a file from a high-upshelf. She said that she couldn't get up there in her long skirt.I was vaguely conscious of my trouser leg riding up as I stretched forthe file, but didn't think Liz had.
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